Slippers

I love my slippers.

Nothing beats coming home to slippers. They are like little houses for our toes. And feet, depending on what kind of slipper-wearer you are. I have respect for all slipper wearers, from socks with slides on, socks with flips flops (even though it’s a bit icky for Big toes BUT do as you please), moon boot wearers, fluffy ones, furry ones, glass ones (if you’re a princess) and ones with hidden messages on the inside. My slippers say secret support on the side of them, which I gratefully receive, both physically and emotionally. If by the end of this passage you aren’t a slipper wearer, please reconsider your choices (for feet’s sake).

Have you ever worn your slippers outdoors? Say, a quick dash in and out to the bins, to collect a parcel or to wave a friend off. Feels super strange, doesn’t it? And if the slippers could speak, they’d probably be saying “I’ve lost my footing, I don’t know where to step, I don’t belong here, what is grass, take me back indoors!” Criminal to stand on grass in slippers. I always do an awkward hopscotch-esque choreography back to the front door, hoping my slippers can forgive me. Once the front door is closed, I feel my them relax into the familiar carpet; they know they have returned.

Now, am I truly caring for my slippers, or do I not want to be seen with my secret supporters outside of my home? Wait… what if I am seen? What if I look silly? What if no one likes my slippers and I’m slipper-shamed? What if I accidentally create a nickname for myself that suddenly the whole road adopts? Slipper girl. Or worse… ugly slipper girl. I’d never be able to look at my sweet innocent slippers again.

That’s it.

Too terrifying.

Socks are too risky, same situation. It’s shoes or nothing. Don’t have time for shoes. It’s barefoot – yes! Then, if I am seen, I will look strong, standing out here on the cold patio in mid-January barefoot. I’m no fool! I’m a warrior! My toes may momentarily suffer, but it’s worth it. It’s worth not looking silly. Or feeling judged. Or being vulnerable. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW I HAVE SECRET FLUFFY SUPPORT. 

The truth is to get through this life, we all need some form of secret (fluffy) support. And guess what – it doesn’t need to be secret. Or fluffy.

You are not weak for needing support. You will not be judged for needing support. If you feel judged, that means you are judging yourself. Judgement comes from within… release that now.

If you feel you will be judged by others, communicate with them, if you can, and explain how they make you feel. If you are brave enough to recognise you are experiencing some form of emotional vulnerability and are choosing to offer that space – you are already courageous. You are making it easier for others to do the same. You are paving the way for others to wear their slippers outdoors, without fear.  

Wanting to feel supported is a natural part of being human. We all deserve to feel, and be, heard, emotionally held, and have our experiences validated by others. We are not meant to face the world alone. We belong in communities. We are a collective and we need to know that we belong.

But what happens when there is an absence of community? Or when you don’t feel part of the collective?

You turn inwards for that validation and this is where the true work begins. How do I offer this validation to myself first? How do I stop myself caring what others think of me? How do I stop punishing myself for looking “silly”? How do I choose observation over negative self-judgement? How do I manage my own vulnerability? How do I wear my slippers all day, every day? With pride. 

Not all slippers are practical for everyday use, but do you know what are?  

Invisible slippers.

Now, imagine you have a pair of invisible slippers. You can decide what they look like but more importantly, decide what they feel like and how they make you feel. A short visualization exercise.

Close your eyes and imagine putting on your slippers. Now, I want you to imagine that these slippers offer you space to feel. As much space as you need. Feel them expand. They warm your toes with a soft yellow light and if you press down a little, you can feel the solid ground beneath you. You are held.  

Now, I want you envision a space that you associate with comfort, ease and safety. As soon as you put these slippers on, you are transported there.

In this space, there is no judgement, no slipper-shaming here. You are fully loved. And if you listen, the slippers remind you to take your time, breathe deeply and know you are enough.

They are the self-soothing slippers.  

Now, slowly take them off and store them in a box somewhere in your mind. Know they are always there, whenever you made need to pop them on again. At work, at home, in a stressful situation, in a moment where you lose clarity – they will be waiting for you. They will be ready to comfort you.

You are not alone on your journey towards learning how to comfort yourself. 

And you are not, and never will be, weak for needing support. Seek it. 

With love,

Jessica x